I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
