Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
