So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it because I queefed?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
