Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize