Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
