I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
