Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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