Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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