That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
