When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
