I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
