Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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