It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize