I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
