jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
