you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
