Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
