She is in my trunk
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
