Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
