she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize