i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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