i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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