Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
