wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize