I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
