yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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