when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
