their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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