fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
