ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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