His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
