he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
