Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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