The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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