the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Your penis caused this!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
