My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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