; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
