we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize