I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
