I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
barbara walters just said penis...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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