Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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