I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
