oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
