you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
