If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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