woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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