think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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