Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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