I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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