The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
