I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize