are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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