just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
