he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
