I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
