My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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