Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
