she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
