Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
