and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
