then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
