I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
