I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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