I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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