I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
