There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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