My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
