i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
