i may or may not be watching the land before time
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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