she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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