i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
