dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I forget how to act sober
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
