lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
